I went on two dates with two different men this week, and the best part was after the second date I got to home to a bag of trail mix and to the documentary Strong! (I’ll include it below and hope you’ll watch).
Date #1 let me know that he was more attracted to petite women, and women whiter than me.
Date #2 explained that he didn’t like women with lots of muscles. It is just “too much muscles for a woman”. He used my gym girlfriends as examples of unattractive.
I came home feeling fat, big, too masculine, unattractive and pissed that I felt those ways. Pissed at myself for being illogical, pissed at those men, pissed at societal norms, and culturally standards of beauty that I tell myself are absurd, however, truth is, they still fucking hurt. Luckily, I’ve great friends like Sharon Moss a national Strongwoman, who by great fortune, posted a link to the movie Strong! I’ve wanted to see Strong! for a couple of years now, and for this week only it is available for free viewing at PBS’ Independent Lens.
You know, I am not as strong as I’d like to be, but I am strong, and getting stronger and it is coming from the encouragement of the women around me who lift. Women who value all bodies for their strengths. Here is a video of me lifting with encouragement from my friend Hannah. No matter what anyone says I love how I look in it (although I need to work on my form)! Now, I just need to find someone else to train with as Hannah moved away earlier this week.
Elenamary lifts (click for video)