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December, 2004

  1. I hate New Year’s Eve

    December 31, 2004 by elenamary

    I hate new years eve. I hate it. I’ve never enjoyed it. It always makes me feel lonely and it isn’t because I’ve ever spent it alone I feel the most alone surrounded by hoards of people.

    In fact the best New Year’s Eve, I’ve ever had was I believe the year 2000-2001 when Alexi and I forgot something and rushed back home to the apartment. It was pleasent. Neither of us had realized what had happened. It was sweet and great and I wish we had crawled into bed right then forgetting about all the celebrations. New Year’s Eve of the previous year we had been in Mexico he wanted to go to Acapulco and I wanted to avoid the crowds. So, we split up, he went to Acapulco and I went to Morelos and stayed with my grandparents. I feel asleep by 9pm was awoken at midnight by my grandfather shooting his gun and his dog barking along with the shots. That was a nice New Year too. I guess it drives me insane because I feel pressure from people to have an amazing time. Why? Why do I need to go out with drunks? I’d rather cuddle on the couch watch a movie and drink hot chocolate. If I do go out something not-good will happen. Last year I got in an argument with a heroine-using prostitute. I thought my New Years’ were bad but my poor friend Josie has really bad New Years’ and each year they are progresivelly worse for her. Last year she tried to help a woman who was stabbed to death. Covered in blood and after talking to the police she went over to the house of a guy she was “dating” she was frantic, angry, covered in blood pounding on his door. His cat jumped out scratched the shit out of her, his roomate upon seeing a crazy screaming bloody girl outside called the police on her.

    I don’t want to go out tonight. If you want to hang out with me bring over some cookies, a movie, a pizza, I just want to chill.

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  2. protest Jan. 20

    December 31, 2004 by elenamary

    YOU can go to DC to protest the inauguration. You can do rideshares on CraigsList, contact your local chapter of NOW and get a ride with them, also check out Counter Inaugural they are organising housing and travel.

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  3. ouch, damn you hardkore

    December 30, 2004 by elenamary

    I used to live in a punk house there are six “bedrooms” though two are in the attic. The house is a shit hole and I am suprised it hasn’t been condemend. Concerts are held in the basement it is loud, deafning, and smelly, it was and is The Legion of Doom. Dear lord knows how many people have been in and out of that house and what has gone down in it. When I lived there it was a sXe, vegan household. Some people have loved the legion more than others. Recently, one house member went and got a tattoo of the address (1579 Indianola Ave).
    Thank Jimmy for the picture.

    LOD_1579.jpg

    Doesn’t this seem a little gang like? Awww my punk rockers.

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  4. ¿Y Tú Quien Eres?

    December 30, 2004 by elenamary

    My favorite fluff magazine is “Eres“, whose catch phrase during the mid-nineties was ¿Y tú, quien eres?. I’ve been thinking of that since el Latino Pundit offered a link to an article by Sandy Escobedo on what it ment to her to be Chicana. She wrote that she did not identify as chicana.

    “I don’t consider myself Chicana because I don’t relate to what I SEE associated with Chicanismo. I see Chicanismo, in context to LA, as associated with second or third generation Mexicans that were once from EAST LA who don’t speak Spanish and are too distant from being “Mexican.” First and foremost, the immigration experience of my parents is recent and it is different from the families of self-proclaimed Chicanos.

    …My parents never worked in a field. In fact, I had never seen farm labor until I encountered it on the 101 Ventura Freeway on my way to UCSB. My parents instead began their life here in the service sector and now work in unionized jobs in which my dad earns a middle-class salary by working 12 hour shifts, at times, 7 days a week.”

    This article made me relaize that I need to let go of the reasons I do not consider myself Chicana and come to really embrace the term. I used to argue that I didn’t consider myself Chicana because I am “fluent in Spanish, I’ve lived in Mexico, I feel Mexicana, I grew up in Ohio not on the border, only one of my parents is Mexican.” As a Mexicana, Chican@ was an ugly bad term.

    I guess we can all make excuses that we don’t share the same backgrounds, that economically, socially, cutlrually we are different. However, we are still Chicanos. Others don’t pay attention to our diverse backgrounds they just see us as those people. Maybe our recent circumstances don’t unite all of us but our histories do. Somos Xicanos. Somos Raza. ¿Y Tú quien eres?

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  5. Snow in Ohio

    December 28, 2004 by elenamary

    I am in Ohio and there has been tons of snow. Luckily our home has electricity and I’ve been living off ponche and tamals the last few days…it is great! Someone threatend me today on friendster which was kind-of-funny. Who threatens on friendster? I was going to post it here but when I went back to friendster just now they had blocked me and took all their messages with them…damn.

    I also realized there is another Yon in my life. A “convincing, practised liar, a Jekyll and Hyde nature, excels at deception, uses excessive charm, is glib, shallow and superficial” she is the serial bully. I am honestly firghtend. She is good at her deception and is a control freak and so I feel I have no imput into the situation. I am stepping back for now and avoding her at all costs but it is difficult to do in terms of our circles. I wish I could punch her, I wish I could get other people to see her shallowness but neither is about to happen.

    I do not have an internet connection at home right now (due to the snow) and am posting from the library. I am going to pay off some fines get some books and write a real entry in a few days. Until then check out some of my links on the side bar. And if you haven’t already check out Bloglines it is great for keeping track of when the blogs you read are updates. It is time efficent in that you don’t have to click on all the blogs you read only to find out they haven’t been updated.

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  6. Yes, I am Bi

    December 24, 2004 by elenamary

    I was about 15 years old and my father made a comment to me about being bi-racial. I had never thought of it that way, never even considerd myself that and I guess I still don’t. I think of race as having to do with skin tone. I am white. Never confuesed with being anything but white. I am culturally Mexican, I am bi-cultural but I just don’t seem myself as bi-racial. I do sometimes refer to myself as a “halfie” or as “mixed” so it could be that I just really dislike the term “bi-racial”. A black friend of mine told me that all “halfies” have race identity issues and that I couldn’t be both I had to choose to be one or the other…I think the second part of that is BS. I can be both. Why can’t I be a white-Mexican? Just as there are African-Latinos? I will admit that I have race issues. In fact my friend Miles, describes it as a defining characteristic. My sister, Cristina, wrote a piece titled “Colonize This!” for a book of the same title. Her piece was how our Irish father had colonized our Mexican mother, and how she would not let herself be colonized (“The collection takes its title from an essay by Cristina Tzintzun, whose Mexican mother and white father personified the colonial experience“). She wrote of her difficulties of dating white men. I feel the same way, I have difficulites trusting white men. I am a racisit against my own people.
    Anyway, none of this is new to any of you regular readers but the reason I wanted to bring it up is because recently Immortal Technique friendstered me the message

    “I can tell your used to dealing with whiteboys and assimilated latinos stay in your bubble and leave the real world to people that live in it “.

    I find this hillarious. Me hanging out too much with White boys? Me and assimilated Latinos? Damn I don’t know when that happened and I didn’t notice it. I guess today when I head over to Olga and Rosa’s house I will be hanging out with assimilated Latinos? Considering that Olga sometimes forgets to speak to me in Spanish and goes off in Zapotec? Or that Rosa is going to school for the first time in 5 years and barely speaks spanish? Or prehaps I will be hanging out with assimilated Latinos tonight when I go to Columbus’ westside to the Christmas Eve party for Mexicanos who are here without families? Yeah, me and assimilated Latinos and white people. Exactly, that is who the I hang out with. Anyone, who knows me at all can testify that I am not to used to hanging out with “white boys and assimilated latinos”

    Anyway, I am adding the conversation between Immortal Technique and I to each other because I found it slightly entertaining.
    (more…)

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