I hate new years eve. I hate it. I’ve never enjoyed it. It always makes me feel lonely and it isn’t because I’ve ever spent it alone I feel the most alone surrounded by hoards of people.
In fact the best New Year’s Eve, I’ve ever had was I believe the year 2000-2001 when Alexi and I forgot something and rushed back home to the apartment. It was pleasent. Neither of us had realized what had happened. It was sweet and great and I wish we had crawled into bed right then forgetting about all the celebrations. New Year’s Eve of the previous year we had been in Mexico he wanted to go to Acapulco and I wanted to avoid the crowds. So, we split up, he went to Acapulco and I went to Morelos and stayed with my grandparents. I feel asleep by 9pm was awoken at midnight by my grandfather shooting his gun and his dog barking along with the shots. That was a nice New Year too. I guess it drives me insane because I feel pressure from people to have an amazing time. Why? Why do I need to go out with drunks? I’d rather cuddle on the couch watch a movie and drink hot chocolate. If I do go out something not-good will happen. Last year I got in an argument with a heroine-using prostitute. I thought my New Years’ were bad but my poor friend Josie has really bad New Years’ and each year they are progresivelly worse for her. Last year she tried to help a woman who was stabbed to death. Covered in blood and after talking to the police she went over to the house of a guy she was “dating” she was frantic, angry, covered in blood pounding on his door. His cat jumped out scratched the shit out of her, his roomate upon seeing a crazy screaming bloody girl outside called the police on her.
I don’t want to go out tonight. If you want to hang out with me bring over some cookies, a movie, a pizza, I just want to chill.
