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January, 2005

  1. NACCS

    January 25, 2005 by elenamary

    NACCS is the National Association for Chicana and Chicano Studies. Their annual meeting this year is in Miami, Florida. Alexi and I went in 2002 when the conference was held in Chicago.

    It was inspiring and great to be around Chicano scholars. The mornings started at 8am and went until 5pm of scholars presenting their research on everything from “Chicano Studies and Community-Based Organizations: The Struggle for Raza Self-Determination” to “Gendered Bodies in Motion on the Border” to “Latinas and Latinos in the World War II Era”. I know these titles make little sense in some ways but the point I am trying to get a across is that there was research and groups for everyone. Artwork, films, music, literature, scholarly research on immigration, politics, queer studies, gender, you name it and it was there. I loved it. Even Alexi who is not into Chicano Studies as much as I am was excited to attend the presentations and events. We had planned on spending some time enjoying Chicago (and we did) but we ended up trying to go to as many presentations as possible.

    This past week I submitted a grant proposal for funding to go to this years conference in Miami. My goal is to get multiple people there and one in particular who I would do anything to get there.

    I want Seyd to see and experience all that is going on in Chicano Studies. I want him to see a future for himself in this realm. I think Seyd would be an awesome Ethnic Studies professor and I want him to experience all the exciting possibilities out there. I just wish I knew how to convince him. Plus, I can send Seyd to the Joto Caucus and have him tell me all the chisme (gossip).

    I want my sister Cristina who is an activist in Texas to go the conference and meet with other organizers and other Chicana authors.

    I want Cindy to go and see research from other Chicano grad students.

    I want El Pocho Abogado to go to the Chicano Law presentations.

    I want Nick to go and learn about other Chicanos who are doing research and working within the Democratic party.

    I guess I want people to see others like them, and hear about new ideas. If I could only take one of these people it would be Seyd because while some people will gain from specific things from the conference I think every single presentation and event would instill a new moxie in Seyd.

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  2. schwanzlucher

    January 23, 2005 by elenamary

    Three things
    1. I am really pissed right now.
    2. My German is atrocious
    3. I am proud of my German language skills right now, I thought I could only order in a restaurant but I guess I can argue too.

    I spent today at the Science Engineering Library a building that one of my classmates thought was a Korean dorm. It sometimes seems like the only people that hang out at the SEL are me, Desis and international students. When I left, I was tired but low on gas and needed an ice scraper (it is about 4 degrees outside). I stopped at a gas station and went inside to get my ice scraper. Inside were two men talking and a man behind the counter. The two men were speaking in English and one said to the other “You know these niggers, all they want is money. This is America you can work. If anyone ever asks you for money it is always a nigger” The other man nodded in agreement as the man continued “I am an Italian-American and I did it.” The man who was nodding in agreement then asks “Oh do you speak Italian?”
    man #1: “No, I don’t speak Italian but I speak German.”
    man #2 in German: “Oh I do too”

    At this point they look over and notice me, and I’ve been staring at them. They start to say some sexual things about me. I guess by the look on their faces they caught on that I might have had a clue to what they were saying but the continued anyway. Then
    Man #2 says to me in English “Oh, do you understand what we are saying?”
    I respond in German “Yes I do. I lived in Bavaria.”
    Man #2 says to me in German “You are very beautiful.”
    I respond in German “You are a fucking cock sucker.”
    I think I may have said it somewhat harshly and loudly because the guy behind the counter stopped what he was doing.
    Man #2 then says “Excuse me? I did not hear what you said”.
    I then say again in German “Do you know ‘cock sucker’? That is what you are.” I say as I finish signing my receipt. I start to walk out of the store, with man #2 in shock and man #1 says to me in German “You shouldn’t use the familiar form in asking him, you should use the polite form of ‘to know’” I turn on my way out and say in German “Fuck you too”.

    I was pissed. These mean were racist, They talked about me in a sexual manner and continued to do so even after they realized I understood what they were saying. I am also pissed that I don’t have a larger vocabulary because I don’t like calling someone a cock sucker. I think cock sucking can be a beautiful, wonderful, intimate thing that should never be used as an insult. However, I am proud that I now realized I can not only order in a German restaurant but also go off on someone. Who knew?

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  3. Punk

    January 22, 2005 by elenamary

    (Before anything let me sum it all up by saying ¡Viva La Punk Chicana! Here is a film Pretty Vacant about a punk Chicana.)

    I was helping the dental students at La Clínica set something up when I mentioned I would be going to the HighFive. One of the dental students turned to me and said, “Are you a punk?”. This made me giggle. I felt like he was not only asking me if I am punk but what is punk. I am not sure how I would answer this. Someone, else asked me last night “What is punk?”.

    The answer to the first question is the simpliest. Am I punk? Kind-of. I enjoy the music, I particpate in the politics, and in terms of an academic stand point where you are part of something if the rest of the somethings recognize you as part of the something. What I am saying is that I am interviewed by punk kids doing research on the punk scene…they see me as part of the scene so in a way that makes me part of it.

    I am not sure how I should answer the second question. What is punk? It is a music. It is a political movement. It is a sub-culture. It is a lifestyle. It is a way of dressing. It is DIY. It is a way of eating. It is bikes instead of cars. It is sXe. It is queer. It is Distros and Zines.

    You can be punk and be all of these things, some of them, or actively against parts of the “scene”. The great thing about being punk is that no matter where you travel, as long as there is a major city, you will be able to find other punks who will give you a place to spend the night, a good meal and a connection in your next city. I like that.

    Last night I went to an all ages punk show at The Legion of Doom. “All ages” shows are important to some members of the punk community. There are bands that will not play at locations where they won’t let in all ages. Usually, this will mean that alochol cannot be sold at the event but allows High School kids and kids under the age of 21 to get in. A lot of cities have punk houses, like the LOD, that host concerts in their homes. Usually the door fee is split among the traveling bands or giving to a charity. I’ve never been to a show that cost more than $5. Unless it was a multiple day event. Last night’s show benefitted Columbus’ Rebird Books-To-Prisoners Project.

    The band I most wanted to see last night was Defiance, Ohio. A punk band with a cello, accoustic guitar, banjo, upright base, violin and drums. It sounds odd in terms of the instruments, but I moshed to this music, it is good stuff.

    After the show at the LOD, Patrick, Jon and I went dumpster diving. These are things that kind of make me punk, I guess. On top of that today is day #2 as a freegan.

    On an aside, it was really cool to hear about the Books to Prisoners Project that has just started here in Columbus. It is amazing because if any of you recall I was looking to start such an organization. I’ll be volunteering with them and helping out with their request letters in Spanish. Woo hoo!

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  4. Why it would never work

    January 21, 2005 by elenamary

    Some of you may recall my list of requirements for dating. A couple of new things need to be added to the list. No STD’s. Most of your own teeth or at least some fake teeth there just need to be teeth in your mouth. You cannot use aol dial-up as your ISP. And you cannot spend more time on your hair then I do…this reason is why Seyd and I would never work out.

    I am mentioning all of this because I recently did something that made me feel like an AOL user. El Oso has been trying to get me to switch to firefox I hated the pressure I was feeling from him. I was just dandy with IE. Why install Firefox and take-up more space on my computer?
    Plus he kept making it seem like I was dumbfuck someone stuck in old technology, someone afraid of change, someone who didn’t have a true love for opensource.

    I don’t like my geekyness and commitment to La Causa being questioned which is what made me stand even firmer on the fact I wasn’t ready to switch yet.

    However, while using firebox at school today, three things finally got me to make the plunge at home:

    1. It is much easier to open word documents and read them with less errors.

    2. It is so much more compatible with things like Adobe, so easy to open, so easy to read.

    3. My blog looks better in it. And really it all comes down to me.

    I am about to do something you will rarely ever see happen. Brace yourself. Ready?

    I was wrong. Firefox is better.

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  5. Spanish Class

    January 20, 2005 by elenamary

    I will write positive things about what the class Spanish in Ohio could be. Right now though I am really frustrated with my class.

    Spanish 689, is a senior seminar. It is the last class taken by undergraduates. My course isn’t even taught by a professor, and the person is a PhD student in the College of Education not in Spanish. This subject is not her forte. Which is perfectly fine, but she should not be teaching a class on it. Ignoring my frustrations with her. I would like to share my frustrations with one of the speakers we had last week.

    The speaker is in charge of ESL in the Southwestern City Schools of Columbus, Ohio.

    I asked two questions. The first about how on her list of the 27 languages spoken by ESL students, was Zapotec on it? For the students they had down has “Spanish speakers” was Spanish really their second language?
    She replied no that Spanish speakers were indeed speaking Spanish as a first language. I tried to clarify my question by saying that I thought that most Latinos in Southwestern City Schools were from Oaxaca (which they are and Zapotec is their first language). She gave me this condescending look and said. “Yes, and they speak Spanish in Oaxaca. Oaxaca is a state in Mexico. In fact one of our bilingual teachers is married to a man from Oaxaca and he speaks Spanish.”

    This frustrated me. You see for example my little friend Olga who is going to turn five soon, is now speaking Spanish but it is still not her first language. When I play with her she frequently forgets to speak to me in Spanish and goes into her more natural Zapotec. She would correct me and give me the Zapotec words for things I would say in Spanish. She still sometimes thinks that we are tricking her when we tell her a word has two names one in Zapotec and Spanish. Her “aunt” Rosa who is only 7 years older didn’t learn Spanish until elementary school. If you ask them if Spanish is their first language they will say yes. If you ask them about Zapotec and then ask them if that is their first language they will say yes. Truth is that the language they are more comfortable in is the one they tend to be more ashamed of.

    One of the reasons I think this is important for the schools to notice is that sometimes they say they are allowing for extra time for the students who need to translate things into Spanish but don’t understand that they are translating it from English to Spanish to Zapotec. It was the same thing when I volunteered as a medical interpreter for a Mixtec women for whom Spanish was her second language. The nurse accused me of speaking Mixtec with the woman and that was why she had understood me, when the truth was that I knew Spanish was her second language and so I had spoken to her more slowly.

    Additionally, the speaker mentioned that many of their Latino students find it difficult to finish High School because they can’t go on to universities here in the United States because they aren’t citizens even when they have lived here all of K-12.

    I asked if they had a lot of their graduating seniors joining the army in order to try and become citizens. “Oh, no. I don’t think they can do that.” My lecturer jumped in to add “Yes, you need to be a US citizen to be in the army” and our speaker nodded her head in agreement. I didn’t want to be rude but wanted them to understand this wasn’t the case. “From what I understand a lot of Latinos especially in states like Texas are joining the US Army because they believe it will help them become citizens and pay for college.” The speakers said, “Yes, Texas has had Latino students much longer than we have had them here in Ohio so they have many more programs then we do.” My lecturer again added “Yes, it maybe they are allowed to join the army in Texas but not yet here in Ohio.”
    What the hell? Forget me explaining to them the plight of Latinos, our speaker and lecturer think that the US Army is made up of State Armies? WHAT?

    Some of you may remember my previous entry regarding the amount of non-citizens dying while fighting for the US Army with the false hope that they could become a citizen. When truth is you can die for this country and still not be guaranteed citizenship. On top of that if you die and they go to notify your parents of your death and find your parents or siblings illegally here, they will deport them too. Seriously, now go read the entry.

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  6. dios mio

    January 18, 2005 by elenamary

    The last few days I was having a mix of highs and lows at the same time and they made me very crazy. After seeing some friends off at the airport yesterday, as soon as I saw them get through the security check, I burst into tears. I hate crying. I have this terrible hang-up about it. I believe that crying is a sign of weakness and the hell I am going to be weak. And yet I balled right there in the airport.

    I called multiple friends and must’ve sounded C R A Z Y to all of them.
    I also didn’t take any of my meds Sunday or Monday…I just completly forgot. These durgs don’t have any immediate effects of not taking them, it s more a personal feeling of a lack of organization which frustrates me. I thought I would try to catch up on things today (homework, bills, paperwork etc.) but it doesn’t seem like that will happen.

    It seems, that unexpectedly, La Clinica Latina will be seeing ALL walk-in patients tonight. This will be crazy. I can’t explain to you what that means. The rumor has spread that tonight we will see anyone for anything in the Latino community and all of them will be there. I was expecting Clinic to finish by 730pm tonight , a hundred bucks says I don’t leave clinic until after 10pm. I had a date planned tonight and it looks like that won’t be happening. I also am going to the benefitt show for the LOD at the HighFive. I was thinking of volunteering my kissing services for the kissing both, you know making some money for the team. I also have some chemistry and econometrics homework to catch-up on. Agghhh. It will all work out. I am going to go buy a Diet Coke that always seems to make things better for Curtis, maybe it will work for me.

    I’d also like to complain that I am on a mac right now and it is pissing me off.

    That is all for today’s bitch box.

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