It has been a rough weekend for me. I am lucky I got some really good friends. Friday night, Miles and my mom and I went to the Ohio Union where I got to perform some Capoeira. Then we went to Beakman park where I got to perform again for a fundraiser.
Saturday, Miles and I went to see Talib Kweli and The Roots. It was a good show. Miles and I saw Talib Kweli some months ago and that show sucked. He only performed two songs and then his back-up girls did the rest and as Miles said “It was just a dance party”. But last night he totally rocked.
It sounds like a nice weekend doesn’t it? But it was a hard weekend. I’ve been thinking about Alexi a lot. I loved him so much and shared a huge part of my life with him. I burst into tears today when my sister asked me when was the last time I saw him. I told a friend of mine that I want Alexi to call and say any of the following three things “I am sorry I cheated on you. I am sorry I hurt you. How are you dealing with the miscarriage?” Anyone of those three phrases would be nice. But he hasn’t. I trusted him and he hurt me, so it goes right? I’ve tried writing in my journal, I’ve talked to my friends, I’ve seen a therapist. There are moments when I feel like I am moving forward. And then there are moments when a Maná or Molotov song is played and I curl my shoulders forward and the warm tears stream down my face.