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May, 2005

  1. weekend

    May 22, 2005 by elenamary

    It has been a rough weekend for me. I am lucky I got some really good friends. Friday night, Miles and my mom and I went to the Ohio Union where I got to perform some Capoeira. Then we went to Beakman park where I got to perform again for a fundraiser.

    Saturday, Miles and I went to see Talib Kweli and The Roots. It was a good show. Miles and I saw Talib Kweli some months ago and that show sucked. He only performed two songs and then his back-up girls did the rest and as Miles said “It was just a dance party”. But last night he totally rocked.

    It sounds like a nice weekend doesn’t it? But it was a hard weekend. I’ve been thinking about Alexi a lot. I loved him so much and shared a huge part of my life with him. I burst into tears today when my sister asked me when was the last time I saw him. I told a friend of mine that I want Alexi to call and say any of the following three things “I am sorry I cheated on you. I am sorry I hurt you. How are you dealing with the miscarriage?” Anyone of those three phrases would be nice. But he hasn’t. I trusted him and he hurt me, so it goes right? I’ve tried writing in my journal, I’ve talked to my friends, I’ve seen a therapist. There are moments when I feel like I am moving forward. And then there are moments when a Maná or Molotov song is played and I curl my shoulders forward and the warm tears stream down my face.


  2. addict

    May 21, 2005 by elenamary

    I found a new game (thanks to Luis) that is like crack. You people avoiding schoolwork or your 9-5 or whatever else your supposed to be doing will love this game.

    The game is called Guess-the-Google
    it gives you 20 images and you have to guess the word they put in google to get those images. Try it out. It has a few kinks but is a lot of fun.


  3. people are sick

    May 21, 2005 by elenamary

    I updated my flickr photos. I included a picture of my siblings in I, ages 2,3 and 4, in bed with no shirts on. That picture immediately started getting hits. I was shocked. Are people that perverted? That is just wrong. I had to block access to the picture and now only those whom I choose, can see it.


  4. Enron and my daddy

    May 18, 2005 by elenamary

    My sister called me Friday night and told me to go see the documentary Enron: The Smartest Guys in The Room. “It reminded me a lot of Daddy” she said. Two days later my friend Emily called and asked me if I wanted to go to the theater and see Enron. Truth is if she hadn’t asked me I never would have gone to see it. Truth is my sister was right, it reminded me a lot of my dad.

    Enron: The Smartest Guys in The Room is about the men (and they were all men) that built and created the downfall of one of the United States largest firms. They cheated their stock investors and manipulated stock prices.

    My father was a stockbroker from when I was six years old until I was fifteen. He first started as a salesmen for Dublin Securities and worked his way up until he became a vice-president. When the Federal Securities and Exchange company came in and effectively shut down Dublin Securities my father opened up a new company called Mid-West Investments which was Dublin Securities but under a different name and in a different location.

    Some similarities between the movie and my daddy.

    Intelligence and Ego: Like the film my father and his colleagues were very intelligent, the smartest men I have ever met. They also had the ego to boot. I remember asking my dad if his boss the president and owner of the company Red Eyerman would end up going to jail. My father responded “No honey, he is too smart to ever go to prison”.

    Trips and Risk: In the movie they showed clips of dangerous trips the executives would take. They would show the high-risk activities the executives would engage in while traveling. It was the same with Dublin Securities. My dad and his colleagues would often make weekend trips to Las Vegas and gamble hundreds of thousands of dollars, and do crazy things like go sky diving. Up and coming stock brokers would compete with each other to be invited on these trips. Sometimes the company would offer competitions that if you sold the most stock you could go on a paid trip with the VP’s. My dad, would sometimes take us on these trips. My family went everywhere on these trips from Lake Tahoe to Rome.

    Addictions: The film mostly addressed the stripper obsession of one of the executives. At Dublin Securities the obsession wasn’t just strippers and prostitutes but cocaine too.

    Suicide: As the securities exchange committee came in on Enron one of their executives committed suicide by gun shot to the head. The exact same scenario happened at Dublin Securities. I went to the funeral of my dad’s colleague and friend who had committed suicide by gun shot after the securities exchange investigation had begun.


  5. bleh

    May 18, 2005 by elenamary

    I am tired and lacking energy. Nothing seems to be interesting to me right now, and that is a horrible feeling. I read my daily blogs, NY Times, Alternet.org, Democracy Now!, Adbusters, Salon.com, Utne, some Mexican newspapers, and I just couldn’t find anything that interested me.

    I wish there was something I was amused by, or even frustrated by. I’d love to be angry rather than apathetic. For example there are some people on campus today protesting-the right to choose, I was to go help with a counter protest but I feel so lethargic, I just don’t seem to care at all.

    Luckily the quarter is almost over. Thank God. I need to take care of a few bills. Did you know that Ohio State University Libraries charge $10 a day in late fees per book? So, I’ve got to go talk to them, maybe I can make some kind of a deal and give them an ovary instead of paying the ridiculous fees. I also have to bitch at Columbus State, they (the registrars office) admitted they messed up but I have to file a petition to retroactively withdrawal from a course they accidentally dropped me from. It doesn’t make any sense, none of it but whatever it is just something I have to take care of as a finishing-up closing-business kind of thing.

    In exciting news I finally got a berimbau but I haven’t had a lot of energy to play it, which is so sad. It is such a beautiful instrument. Maybe I will get up early in the morning and play it as the sun rises, that has got to be a good way to start the day…right?


  6. it’s just weird

    May 17, 2005 by elenamary

    This isn’t a political, or personal, or thought provoking entry. Here it is, Kissing is weird.

    I am not saying I don’t enjoy kissing, I am saying it is just weird. I mean why kissing? Why did someone ever decide that kissing was good. I mean why don’t we rub are toes against each other. Toes are nice and they are hidden, so we could sexualize them and imagine about seeing them for the first time. Sluts would were sandals. For a good time someone would deeply rub their toes in between yours…a mini foot massage.

    What if the intimate thing we shared was elbow rubbing? My elbow is very sensitive. What about rubbing necks against each other? I mean kissing is nice but weird. The lips are always there, the mouth isn’t a really clean place, you are sharing slobber, it is just weird.

    For some beautiful images on sexuality check out these two blogs. One is in Spanish and the other Portuguese but it doesn’t matter if you don’t speak either language, just enjoy the images.

    Erotismo na Cidade: Cantos De Um Amor Reinventado. (Portuguese)

    El Blog de Eros: Blog de Erotismo Creativo. No recomendado para menores de edad. No pretende ser un site pornográfico pero contiene textos explícitos que podrían herir ciertas sensibilidades. (Spanish).