I don’t know which of these two stories is funnier. You decide.
Josie claimed on Friday that she was temporarily fleeing this sad excuse of a city. She was going to go to Cincinnati. However. one thing foiled her plan. The electricity in her neighborhood went out. Her car was parked in her garage that could only be opened electrically. So our dear heroine Josie was stuck in Columbus Friday night. At least I still got to hang out with her and hear her explain that she was no longer young and naïve “The world has bent me over and had its way with me”.
On Friday, I was proposed to twice.
The proposals themselves weren’t quite as funny as my reactions. I was in a room full of refugees everyone was to go around the room and introduce themselves by giving their name and country of origin. I was the only one with the United States as my origin. The refugee to my left leaned in and asking me if I was married. I responded in the negative, he gave a toothy grin and asked me if I would like to marry him. I said “No, thank you” and tried to avoid eye contact the rest of the evening. Well during a break the man to my right struck up a conversation. The man has been in the US for less than a month and has moved from refugee camp to refugee camp for the last 6 years. He started the conversation by asking me if I was permanent resident.
“No, I am a citizen.”
“You mean you have a US Passport?”
“Yes, I have one.”
“I am a strong worker and a good provider. Would you like to marry me?”
“Thank you that is nice of you to ask but No, thank you.”
“Can I have your phone number?”
“Maybe later. Not now.”
“Why maybe?”
“I am a young girl. A little girl. Not a big girl. I am not allowed to give my phone number to a man.”
“A little girl? When will you be a big girl? Aren’t you 22?” (this is not my age I don’t know where he got this from.
“I won’t be a big girl until I have my ceremony. My parents must decide I can be a big girl and give me a ceremony.”
“Can I give you my phone number?”
“I can’t take your number.”
“Why not?”
“I must ask my mother for permission to get a man’s phone number.”
“You must ask her. Tell her I want to befriend you. That I am a good worker and provide well. Tomorrow I will bring you a good lunch and a drink. But you must ask your mother. I am eager to be your friend. Promise you will ask?”
“Yes, I will ask my mother.”
Anyone think I am sometimes bad at being direct? I didn’t want to offend him.
Sweet! Look at you getting all the proposals! I think I’d be happy to find a girl to even talk to me most nights, much less propose!