Elenamary

sorry i missed this, but thanks for clarifying. i think we (your readers) have to put you into context, what you have said before, in order to judge a piece. i have learned that to a fellow xicana, i should always give the benefit of the doubt.

haber que puede decir un chicano, de esos chicanos que tomaron ethnic studies classes, que saben un poco de la lucha de ser pobre, y que pues puedo dar mas “credentials” about how much i know and how i know it, but i do see a lot of self hate (for being brown, or for not liking those that are ‘a bit like you cuz they bronw’ (and this does not go for elenamary, a quien admiro y respeto) but to those that have turned their back on the cholo youth because the destruction they do, a lot of this is self-destruction. pero, once we understand how we are very much conditioned (although not determined) by our reality (race/ethnicity, class, gender, culture, city we grow up in, family, etc.) we see how we can start changing this patterns. and that there’s brown folks, as other black folks, who have bought into the “i have/owned and therefore i am” mentality. or to those that because they were able “to make it” (color-blind fools that only talk about merit, but not about inequality and disadvantages) think that they can disasossiate themselves from other Mexicanos /chicanos because “they are making us look bad.” well, since when these young brown folks are “them,” and not “us.”

I’M GLAD YOU WERE ABLE TO SETTLE THINGS WITHIN YOURSELF (COMPARING THIS POST TO THE LAST POST).
I WAS RAISED IN THE SAN FERNANDO VALLEY BETWEEN SINCE THE YEAR 1979, AFTER BEING BROUGHT IN “MOJADO” ALL THE WAY FROM EL SALVADOR AT THE AGE OF THREE. I WAS RAISED BY BOTH PARENTS, AND EMBARKED ON A PROSPEROUS PUBLIC WHERE I WAS TESTED AND FOUND TO BE A GIFTED AND TALENTED STUDENT. A FEW YEARS DOWN THE ROAD, THOUGH, FAMILY STRIFE AND WRONG DECISIONS LEAD ME TO START HANGING OUT WITH THE NEIGHBORHOOD GANG MEMBERS, TO WHICH MY MOTHER LOVINGLY REFFERED TO AS “PINCHES CHOLOS PANTALONES CAGADOS!!” (CAN YOU FEEL THE SARCASM?)
MOST PEOPLE’S OPINION OF THE “CHOLO” IS NEGATIVE, BASED ON THE CRIMINAL ACTIVITIES PERFORMED BY YOUTH GANGS IN CALIFORNIA, TEXAS, AND, I WOULD DARE SAY, MOST OF THE STATES WITH A LARGE POPULATION OF MEXICAN,CHICANOS, AND A GROWING NUMBER OF CENTRAL AMERICANS JOINING THE STREET GANG BAND WAGON. WE KNOW WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE AND WE NOW A CITY OVER RUN WITH GANG ACTIVITY BY THE MARKINGS ON THE WALL. IT’S A TOUGH LIFE TO LIVE, AND EVEN HARDER TO LET GO OF, WHERE THE CONCEPTS OF RESPECT AND PRIDE ARE DISTORTED AND MANIPULATED TO THE POINT OF BECOMING SELF DESTRUCTIVE; GENOCIDAL.
I’M ONE OF THOSE LUCKY VATOS THAT HAD ENOUGH SENSE TO BAIL OUT WHEN I GOT THE CHANCE. I WAS NEVER GOOD AT BEING A FOLLOWER, AND MOST OF THE THINGS I DID OUTSIDE THE LAW WERE DONE WITH A FEW CLOSE CAMARADAS FROM AROUND THE WAY. I ENDED UP GETTING LOCKED UP FOR A FEW YEARS, SHIPPED FROM ONE STATE PRISON TO ANOTHER, UNTIL I FINALLY WAS RELEASED BACK TO THE WORLD.
DURING THAT TIME, I MET MANY A LIFER (CONVICTS DOING LIFE IN PRISON) WITH ENOUGH KNOWLEDGE TO ASTOUND THE BRIGHTEST UNDERGRADUATE, BUT WITH THE MISFORTUNE OF HAVING FOUND OUT TOO LATE IN LIFE THAT THERE WAS SOMETHING TO STRIVE FOR. MOST OF THESE MEN WERE REJECTED FOR BEING “CHICANOS”, NI DE AQUI, NI DE ALLA, AS KIDS. THEY HAD LITTLE, IF NO OPORTUNITY TO PROGRESS OUTSIDE OF THE BARRIO. THESE ARE MEN THAT BECAME FRUSTRATED, SYNICAL, AND IN THE END, OBLIVIOUS TO THE PATH OF KNOWLEDGE THAT ANYONE WILLING TO SACRIFICE CAN ACHIEVE TO FIND.
I’VE LEARNED FROM ALL THESE MEN. I’VE LEARNED FROM SOCIETY’S BACKLASH AGAINST ANYTHING CONSIDERED “GHETTO”. I’VE LEARNED THAT I CANNOT BE CATEGORIZED IN ANY GROUP.
THAT IS WHERE HUMANS BEGIN TO FAIL; WHEN THEY SET THEMSELVES APART AND BREAK DOWN SOCIETY INTO EVEN SMALLER, MORE JAGGED FRAGMENTS. WHEN THEY BEGIN TO PUT TITLES OVER THEMSELVES AND/ OR ACCEPT THE TITLE CREATED BY ANOTHER. I AM A MAN THAT REQUIRES THE SAME RIGHTS AND BENEFITS, AND OBLIGATIONS, AS ANY OTHER MAN. I’M NO BETTER THAN ANY OTHER MAN. I AM A UNIQUE INDIVIDUAL, BORN IN THIS EARTH, LIVING IN A GLOBALIZED SOCIETY WITH A GLOBALIZED ECONOMY, THAT COULD CARE LESS ABOUT WHERE I’M FROM, BUT CARES MORE ABOUT WHERE I’M AT. IF YOU AIN’T PART OF THE SOLUTION, YOU’RE PART OF THE PROBLEM.
HOW DOES ALL OF THIS HAVE TO DO WITH YOUR POST? WELL, IT’S SIMPLE. LOVE PEOPLE FOR THEIR MIND. LOVE PEOPLE FOR THEIR CHARACTER TRAITS. THE PEOPLE THAT HAVE DONE ME THE MOST HARM HAVE BEEN THOSE WITHIN MY OWN RACE, AND THOSE THAT HAVE HELPED ME OUT THE MOST WERE INDIVIDUALS THAT DIDN’T CARE IF I WAS A BALD HEADED, DICKIE WEARING, NIKE CORTEZ SPORTING CHOLO. THEY CARED ABOUT THE REAL ME. THE ONE INSIDE. THE ONE THAT DREAMS AND STRIVES TO BE A BETTER MAN EVERYDAY FOR MY WIFE, MY SON, MY SOCIETY…..MY SELF. I’M GLAD TO SEE HOW YOU’RE FEELINGS HAVE CHANGED TO A MORE OPEN PERSPECTIVE. ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT THERE IS MORE OUT THERE IN THE HORIZON TO CONQUER THAN A MERE CULTURE/POLITICAL STATUS.

JUST A CORRECTION:I WAS RAISED BY BOTH PARENTS, AND EMBARKED ON A PROSPEROUS PUBLIC EDUCATION WHERE I WAS TESTED AND FOUND TO BE A GIFTED AND TALENTED STUDENT. A FEW YEARS DOWN THE ROAD, THOUGH, FAMILY STRIFE AND WRONG DECISIONS LEAD ME TO START HANGING OUT WITH THE NEIGHBORHOOD GANG MEMBERS, TO WHICH MY MOTHER LOVINGLY REFFERED TO AS “PINCHES CHOLOS PANTALONES CAGADOS!!” (CAN YOU FEEL THE SARCASM?)….I FORGOT TO TYPE EDUCATION AFTER PUBLIC…SORRY ABOUT THAT.