Comments on: No, really, the men do go first

By: Cinnamon

Cinnamon — Mon, 05 Dec 2005 21:55:23 +0000

My boyfriend’s maternal family is Italian and the same thing happens there. It used to be that the guys would hang around the table eating, talking, smoking and the women would hang out in the kitchen waiting for them to leave so they could sit down and eat. I came through and said “This is ridiculous, I’m hungry.” I grabbed my plate and took it outside to eat. And then the other ladies followed me (the power of being a guest is that you can’t eat alone). They told me they felt “naughty” and when we came inside and there were dirty plates all over the table, I said “Oh no! We ain’t cooking for you and cleaning up your mess. You aren’t in a wheelchair.”

The guys think I’m funny because I’m fiesty, my boyfriend gets slightly embarrassed (even though he agrees with me), I feel like I’ve changed them a bit, and the women feel loved that their men help them out. Everyone is happy, for the most part. And non of this would have happened if I had been born into this family. I have more power as a pseudo-family member than I would have as a blood relative. But that power is quickly fading.

By: Coco

Coco — Tue, 29 Nov 2005 23:55:02 +0000

It’s unfortunate, but yes…it still happens. When ever my husband and I go to my Tia Sofia’s house, it is expected that I “serve” my husband first- I fight it, but he LOVES it…he likes going to my aunt’s home.

Take Care!

By: Gustavo

Gustavo — Tue, 29 Nov 2005 21:03:15 +0000

I never understood that…My parents don’t do that…but whenver my mom and my aunts get together for a party its always the case that the viejos barrigones get served first and after they finish then the ladies are next. Either way I’d much rather sit at the kiddie table..its more fun.

By: Maegan la Mala

Maegan la Mala — Mon, 28 Nov 2005 13:57:30 +0000

The same thing happens at my abuela’s house, oh except my “special friend” (when I have one) has to get served by me first, then I can eat with him.

By: oso

oso — Mon, 28 Nov 2005 08:01:05 +0000

“special friend” That’s funny. And very much reinforced.

By: agustin

agustin — Mon, 28 Nov 2005 04:59:05 +0000

“its good to be a man” i said this to my wife’s brother this weekend. i was being sarcastic, but he did not get it. i was trying to criticize the way he bosses his girlfriend around. thanks for the post. it’s true, men and guest do eat first.