“To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms but the devil slapped on the genitals.” –Don Schrader
I don’t have
I do have one friend, Josie, who is half Mexican like me. She doesn’t (I don’t think) identify as Chicana, but like me, she does identify as white.
Being the good Mexican Catholic girls we are Josie and I went to special services in Spanish for La Virgen De Guadalupe last Monday, at Parroquia Santa Cruz. Josie joked that we were Amazon women in that Church. Neither of us is tall by gringo standards but by Mexican migrant standards we are giants. We’ve even got a couple inches on the men.
When we walked in to the church I noticed the woman handing out the programs give us the double take as she debated whether or not to give us a program. I assume that because the programs were only in Spanish she figured that we two gringas wouldn’t be abel to read it. She never gave us a program and after we had been seated I realized she wasn’t going to so I asked in Spanish for two programs. She seemed rather surprised. I was happy now I could sing along to the re-written version of Las Mañanitas for Guadalupe.
I wonder what sets Josie and I apart from the rest of the Mexicans. Is it our style of dress, is it our couple extra inches in height, is it our mannerisms, is it our lighter skin tone, is it the fact that everyone else brought their large plastic Virgin Mary’s to be blessed and we didn’t bring any?
I am hoping to give Josie two books for Christmas, both by Michelle Serros, Chicana Falsa and How to Be a Chicana Role Model. I love both these books and was fortunate to meet the author a few years ago…if anyone should have a blog she should.
For Christmas Josie gave me two great books. The first one being “I’m not a feminist, But…†. This book is full of great little quotes which you’ll be seeing on my blog in the future:
“When men claim wearing a condom is a hardship are they comparing it to giving birth or having an abortion?â€Â
The other book was The Catholic Girl’s Guide to Sex. I leave you with two excerpts. The first warning Catholic Girls on the risks of dating Catholic Boy’s and the second on “When to be a Silent Partnerâ€Â:
They, more than anyone else we know, are looking for the elusive feminine combination: the saint on their arm and the slut in their bed. They want their mom for a wife and the most popular girl from the whorehouse on the hill for a lover. They’re intimate with the idea of sainthood, and they, too, have been running scared from the devil since baptism.
Here’s the first and only firm rule to keeping your moth shut: Don’t say a word when the subject of past loves comes up. It doesn’t matter you and your former guy shared only kisses. Your new guy may say, “Come on, I’m not jealous,†or he may share unsolicited details about his previous girlfriends. Trust us. Don’t go there. No matter how together a guy seems, he’s reduced to nothing once he contemplates the truth about his lady’s past.
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I get this all the time. And I am Chicano. I am moreno and have black hair and can speak Spanish. But for some reason, I get that exact same reaction from my gente. At times it’s offensive to me because I feel separated.
I do dress differently, but that shouldn’t keep me from anything. They tell me I don’t look exclusively “Mexican” because I’m taller and don’t have “Mexican features” whatever that means.
I can’t even go to a tortilleria without having someone talk to me in broken English. So, when I talk to them in Spanish.
They stare at me and then continue talking to me in English as if they’ve already made up their minds I’m still gringo.
Comment on December 21, 2005 01:53 pmYeah I can’t decide where I fit in. Sometimes people seem to look at me a little harder as if they can’t really decide if I’m Latina or not. They’ll ask me in broken English if I speak spanish they might as well be asking if I’m Latina or not.
Comment on December 21, 2005 02:56 pmDon’t say a word when the subject of past loves comes up.
OMGosh that is so true. I think all Mexican guys are masochists in that we want to know yet it bothers the hell out of us the thought of our gf being with someone else. I guess no matter what we can’t stop being Machista-free.
Comment on December 21, 2005 04:44 pmJa! Ja! Ja! La neta is that The Catholic guide speaks true. For my part, I just don’t like to hear about past boyfriends.
Hmmm, and I don’t know what to say to you “in betweens,” much love i guess. do you guys find that you don’t fit cuz is Mexican immigrants? there is a difference between people from city and country. I can tell that the folks from D.F. and other big cities don’t fit in with people that come from small towns.
you know which one i have gotten a couple of times. “i thought you were asian.” but most of the time, its clear i’m brown and beautiful.
Comment on December 21, 2005 09:46 pmgreat advice on the ex-boyfriends… that reminds me of the Chris Rock joke that a girl could have only been with 2 guys her whole like and the guy still gets mad. “TWO!? TWO!? I guess that’s just how you were brought up…”
Comment on December 22, 2005 10:22 amI have to agree that there is a difference between people from the city and country (the way people look, dress, act). I am living in D.F. right now and a few weeks ago a girl I met thought I was Mexican…and I´m about as gringa as they come.
Comment on December 22, 2005 01:40 pmAnyone see American Pie? (I think it was the second one)… rule of 3. If you ask a guy how many people they have been with and you divide by three to get the real answer. If you ask a woman how many people they have been with you multiply by three to get the real answer.
And Gustavo, I think it is more a guy thing than a Mexican guy thing.
Comment on December 22, 2005 11:10 pm