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December, 2006

  1. Enter stage left

    December 25, 2006 by elenamary

    I think I am going to have to write up a permenent entry with names and a quick sentence background on people in my life, and the approximate time they entered into the theatrical preformance that is my life.

    Anyway, December 23rd an ex boyfriend from long ago (a few years ago) gave me a call that he was in town.  We spent the day Christmas shopping for his immediate family.  It was quite enjoyable.  At the end of the day we drank mochas and wrapped gifts which are two of my all time favorite things.  I would pay people to let me wrap their gifts.   During our day together I told him “Man I wish we got along this well when we were dating.  I like you a lot more now than I did then.”  It is true though, we get along a lot better now as friends when we speak to each other once a month by phone, and hang out once every year or so.

    Perhaps, what happend is that we both matured and just don’t need bull shit in our lives anymore.  Neither of us our dishing it out anymore nor our we putting up with it.  Now, if only I can apply the rules of this relationship to every other aspect of my life.

    Merry Christmas everyone!  To those of you who know me personally, I made Ponche and Tamales, come on over!


  2. old maids

    December 18, 2006 by elenamary

    Damn, visiting the prison sure did cheer me up.  I got to see Bombo, which is always enjoyable.  I had some great conversations, about traveling, politics, and music.  Ate some pretty decent food, sounds so cliche, but I ordered Huevos a la Mexicana at the prison, Bobmo ordered pollo con mole verde.  And of course before the prison I started out my day as I do every morning when here in mexico, with an catucus-aloe-organe juice—my favoirte.

    Sunday, I want to my newborn baby cousins baptism, it was really more of a big family reunion.  My mother is the oldes of 9 children, which means I have 6 aunts, 2 uncles, and a few hundred cousins, acutally more like 35 cousins and of course all of them that are old enough to breed, have.  Which means they each brough a few kids in tow.  Lordy!  And of couse everyone was asking me where my husband was and then would laugh and say “We all know you will never marry or have kids” it was sweet, I am the old maid of the family at the whopping age of twenty-something (you dont need to know the exact number).  Otherwise though it was nice to see everyone.  My time is up at the internet cafe…


  3. Saturday 16 Dec

    December 15, 2006 by elenamary

    Okay, so I didn´t make it to the prison today but that is quite alright, I´ll go tomorrow.I decided not to go because today is not an official visiting day at the prison. Which means it becomes a big hassle. Here is out it would´ve gone down:

    After a little less than an hour of driving to get to the prison, I would arrive and have to ask one of the guards outside the prison if I could visit a prisoner. The guard would then go looking for the warden´s secretary. She would come out, with about 12lbs of heavy make-up all of it different shades of orange and pink, and ask me who I thought I was to come on a none visiting day? Then I would lie and say that I had no idea that it wasn´t a visiting day and that I had come all the way from fricking Ohio, and couldn´t I please come in. Then the warden would come out and depending on 1. how good of a mood he was in, and 2. how good my tits looked to him, would decide, if and for how long I could visit. Usually, the warden (they change the warden every year or so—I think to supposedly avoid corruption) would say I could come on in, but just for “a little bit” and that we could only hang out in the courtyard.

    So, instead, I´ll just go tomorrow, Saturday, an official visiting day. I wrote a very in depth article about what that is like but right now I cannot link to my old entries…sorry.

    When I get back from the prison my graduating class, is having a reunion. This was my class of tercero de secudnaria, kind-of-like 9th grade. We were a small group of 45 students and went to a private catholic school, we are surprisingly tight knit and the the class has a reunion every year. This will be the first one I will attend. I´ve always been out of the country during our reunions and instead of attending get sent pictures. It will be kind of weird for me considering everyone is now married. The question won´t be are you married, but how many kids do you have. To which last time I checked the responses will be something like Dulce 3, Yadira 2, Leonel 3, Elizabeth 2, Aida 2, Fausto 1, Cristian 1, Malena 4, Angel 2, man I could go on and on.

    I am glad I don´t have 4 kids and live in Mexico and work my ass off. I am also glad, I don´t have the older-looking face of a woman who is now a mother. I know I am about a year younger than most my classmates, but still I wish I did at least have more substance to my life. Or damn, I wish Josie was here to make some kind of comment about snot-nosed kids.

    Either way the reunion will rock, it will be nice to see everyone together.


  4. On a bright note

    December 14, 2006 by elenamary

    I think to cheer myself up, I am going to go to the prision tomorrow and visit Bombo.  I bought a lot of DVDs while with Charles to make him happy.  I gave him most of them when he moved out but I did keep the series Playmakers.  It is a totally predictible soap opera-esq series about a bunch of football players, but I swear to god the series sucks you in.  I decieded I´d give it to Bombo and that we could watch it together.  So, tomorrow I will head to the state prision with a bag of dark chocolate, and the Playmakers and enjoy the day with him.  What could be a more perfect day than that?


  5. The falling is nice, it is the landing that hurts

    December 13, 2006 by elenamary

    A couple nights ago, my friend Miles stopped by.  We had two distinct conversations.  One where he asked me if I believed in falling in love and was then amazed when I said yes.  He told me that of all people I shouldn´t believe in love as much as I had been burned.

    The next conversation was quite contrary to the first.  Miles explained that he knew he was loved.  “I´ve got plenty of love.  You love me.  Nico (my roommate) loves me.  My family and friends love me.  What I need is sex not love.”

    Miles ideas weren´t mutually exclusive.  I think what we want is someone who will love us AND who we are sexually attracted to AND who is sexually attracted to us.

    The past month-and-a-half have been very rough on me.  The relationship I was in wasn´t at all has it had appeared, not even his name was real.  Falling in love was wonderful, it was the reality that hurt like a bitch.  The last few days I´ve been hoping I would fall off a steep mountain and into a rocky river with rapid waters.  The fall would be exhilarating, only the landing would hurt but the rapid waters would wash all the blood and pain away, without anyone ever knowing it exisited.   And maybe, my spirt could be carried away by an errant wind.


  6. A moment in maturity…just a moment

    December 10, 2006 by elenamary

    I had a holiday party last night, “biscotti of festivity”.  A new friend and an old friend were in the kitchen with me when the topic of Alexi came-up.  Alexi (for those of you who don’t read my blog regularly) is my ex.  He is my first love, and my first real heart break.  The new friend was inquiring about Alexi.  I told him and I believe it “Alexi loved me very much.  I think if he could’ve been with me he would of.  He really did love me very much.”  My old friend who is also a good friend of Alexi’s added “Alexi did love you.  He loved Elena very much.  They both loved each other.”  The other day I was talking to another old mutual friend of Alexi’s and he said “Your relationship, your love for each other was a greek tragedy. No pun intended.” (Alexi’s greek).  For me last night was a great moment of maturity.  I didn’t feel any bitterness towards Alexi.  It was comforting just to know that he had loved me, loved me as much is possible in this world and just because it didn’t work doesn’t mean he didn’t love me or that it wasn’t real.  For that moment, just that moment, I was mature enough to acknowledge that just because it hadn’t worked didn’t mean we didn’t or couldn’t love each other.   It was a nice moment.