I had a holiday party last night, “biscotti of festivity”. A new friend and an old friend were in the kitchen with me when the topic of Alexi came-up. Alexi (for those of you who don’t read my blog regularly) is my ex. He is my first love, and my first real heart break. The new friend was inquiring about Alexi. I told him and I believe it “Alexi loved me very much. I think if he could’ve been with me he would of. He really did love me very much.” My old friend who is also a good friend of Alexi’s added “Alexi did love you. He loved Elena very much. They both loved each other.” The other day I was talking to another old mutual friend of Alexi’s and he said “Your relationship, your love for each other was a greek tragedy. No pun intended.” (Alexi’s greek). For me last night was a great moment of maturity. I didn’t feel any bitterness towards Alexi. It was comforting just to know that he had loved me, loved me as much is possible in this world and just because it didn’t work doesn’t mean he didn’t love me or that it wasn’t real. For that moment, just that moment, I was mature enough to acknowledge that just because it hadn’t worked didn’t mean we didn’t or couldn’t love each other. It was a nice moment.
Sometimes I have these moments where I truly believe everything will be alright, everything will work itself out, and worrying is pointless. I can see that there is something to learn in every situation. I can’t seem to hold onto those moments, though.