I’ve decided there are two things I need to do more frequently; the first is write more hand written letters and the second is to appreciate those around me. I am combining these two goals by writing letters to friends and family for their birthdays. I will be posting some online. Below is the first letter and it is to KyJah who shares my same birthday, August 9th. In the past I’ve only made entries like this when someone has died, I want to do these while the person is alive.
(Part of these goals come from some self-reflection and from some super cheesy poems I shared with a friend a few nights ago. I’ll include those cheesy poems in a different post).
I’ve been reflecting the last few days on new beginnings, friendships and death. A friend of mine passed away not too long ago, shortly after her 28th birthday. Her funeral and memorials were jam packed and many wanted to share their stories about her. Frequently people would start their stories with “I may not have known her as well as most of you but…” and then they would tell their lovely story about Sara. 
Truth was they did know her just as much as the rest of us. Her life was diverse and full and because of that no one, not one single person had a role in all parts of her life. I’ve also felt great pain at funerals, in that the only time we gather to celebrate someone is at their death, when we can no longer tell them how much we loved them. My breakup with El-Amin has also made me reflect on the fact, I may never get to tell him again, that I love him. 
Nor will I most likely ever hear him whisper his feelings of love to me. Yet, I believe that if either of us were to die now, you would find us present at each other’s funerals, with warm salty tears and remorse for not having appreciated each other more in life.
Reflection on these ideas has inspired me to write to my friends, to let them know, while I can, how much they mean to me. I want to tell you now and not repent when it is too late.
I’d heard about you before I’d ever meet you, from Ernesto, 
who enjoyed describing you by your contradictions. The moment I first saw you, I wanted to be your friend. I saw no contradictions but rather a complex man. You were (and still are) charismatic, outgoing, caring, observant and well read. We discussed African diaspora in South America, civil rights movements in Brasil and the US. I remember going with you to play Punk Rock Soccer…do you remember that? You scored 23 of our 30 goals and no one was up able to keep up with you or tackle you.
Do you remember when you helped me with my Latina feminist icon class? We did a reenactment of the imagery of Ixtaccihuatl and Popocatépetl while Miles took the pictures? 
And do you remember when you helped me with the video assignment where you were “pregnant”…? Man, I wish I had a copy of that. I enjoyed that night as Olguita swung from your dreadlocks and you ate mole.
There were times too when instead of academic help I needed emotional support and you were there. I was depressed, terrible depressed, and I sent out an email asking if anyone would be willing to sit with me. You were the first to respond and offered to come straight from work. Not too long ago I called you, I didn’t tell you what had happened, I only told you that I needed support. You told me to give you five minutes to get to my house… you arrived within three minutes, and let me cry, drink and receive hugs on demand.
You introduced me to Hieroglyphics, Wushu, Frat/Greek life, taught me how to hold a berimbau, how to play São Bento, to never think twice about kneeing a man in the balls when they deserve it, and you taught me that I too can do a macaco.
Thank you for letting me share (convivir) this life with you and for being my friend.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Love in life,
Elenamary