an academic imposter

I got a really nice email saying nice things about me. I doubted it, so I closed the email, cried a bit, took a shower, and then re-read it. I guess the email is real.
I feel a bit like an academic imposter. In fact I even contemplated emailing them and saying, “you do know I got a ‘B’ in a class, right?”.  Well, I didn’t do that instead I emailed a thank you response and told them the truth, that I hope to give back as much as they have given to me.
I was awarded the GAANN fellowship.  For you non-ivory-tower people, this means, I am getting paid to study and to top it off some really smart people think I have potential—this latter part scares the shit out of me.   Here is some of the letter:

I am pleased to inform you that you have been selected as a GAANN Fellow for the 2016-­2017 Academic Year under the OSU Spanish and Portuguese GAANN project…

The  purpose  of  the  OSU  Spanish  and  Portuguese  GAANN  project  is  to  assist  students  of  superior  ability  in  obtaining  a  PhD  and  preparing  them  for  emerging  areas  of  national  need  in  the  teaching  of  Spanish  and  Portuguese  including  heritage  language  teaching,  technology-­enhanced  teaching,  and  language  teaching  for  the  professions.

The letter states I am going to be developing work on courses dealing with health professions especially as they pertain to heritage learners (those who grew up with the Spanish language at home).  This is exactly what I want to be researching and creating.  If it were not for a post-secondary program that allowed me to study Spanish at the university while still in high school, I am almost certain I would never have thought university was possible for me.   I want to give other students like me, those same opportunities and more skills than I was given.  TL;DR   Yay! I got a fellowship!

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