Act of Rebellion

There is a movie in theaters now “The Big Sick“. Short summary brown man and white woman fall in love and deal with cultural conflict.  I wasn’t interested in seeing it as the previews made it seem awful and racist.  However, while driving back from a road trip I got to hear part of an interview with the pseudo-autobiographical co-screenwriter  Kumail Nanjiani.  I felt connected to his story as he was talking about growing up the child of immigrants. Nanjiani spoke of how he hadn’t given his parents enough credit in their evolving and understanding of his culture, different from theirs.
Then the interviewer Terry Gross, asked pseudo-autobiographical co-screenwriter Emily V. Gordon (spouse of Nanjiani) what her family thought of her being with Nanjiani.  Gordon responded that her parents were used to her acts of rebellion they were just happy she found someone who was good to her.

I immediately cringed at Grdon’s gaze of Nanjiani as one of her acts of rebellion and that dreadful phrase “good to her”. Nanjiani then took over the conversation and spoke about how a “rebellious phase” was culturally very American but I was stuck on what Gordon had said.

I don’t ever want to be someone’s tool for rebellion.  Which in terms of gender in hetero relationships, as a Latina I am not a tool for rebellion but I have experienced exoticisation, fetishization, for temporary fun, just as a man of color is used as the act of rebellion in temporary fun.  I don’t think Gordon thought of this with any maliciousness when she spoke of her family being accustomed to her rebellion. That is part of the privilege for a white woman, that her perspective can be the conflict of dating a brown man as a temporary taboo.

Moving on to the phrase “good to her”– I ignorantly thought this wasn’t something that was regularly used as coded language but something that only I had experienced. I have been told before multiple times that phrase “I just hoped you would be with someone who is good to you”, “I wish you were with someone who could provide for you better”.  The racism and sexism were there and what they really wanted to ask was  “Why couldn’t I just date someone who was white man who’d take care of a girl?”  Recently, a Black man told me that he’d been with non-Black women who had been told “I really was hoping you’d be with someone who was better to you” I was dumbfounded at my naïvety  at thinking other people never heard the same things I did.  Again, I don’t think this is what Gordon was getting at with saying acts of rebellion and as long as he’s good to me, but her intent and the reality of how many of us experience interracial relationships as an attack on us and those we love–well both perspectives overlapped but not in understanding.

I wonder does Gordon spend her time worrying about Nanjiani when he flies that he will be harmed or arrested? Have people told Gordon that the person she loves isn’t as good as any other white guy? Has she wondered what her presence says when she is next to him? What risks she puts him in by being with her?  Hearing Gordon’s perspective only affirmed my desire not to see this movie.

and we are back

blogtitlan is trying to slowly rev the engine and start-up again. and i think i’ve been made one of the defacto leaders and yet here my first post will be less than 5 sentences but hey it is a new start!

Update on 2016 Calendar

A tentative list of some bike tours, USAT sanctioned triathlon races, and 1/2 marathons for 2016. As always, I love it when friends join me and if there is some kind of sporty thing you are already planning on or would like to plan, I’m all about adding and adjusting this calendar.

 

April
10th, Columbus, Ohio USA, Squat, Bench, Deadlift competition
Ohio State Powerlifting Club and Rec Sports Powerlifting Competition

17th Cincinnati, Ohio, 1/2 Marathon
Cincinnati Broke Man’s Half Marathon: Another run in the Broke Man series. I figure this is just part of good training for the 1/2 Ironman in August.

May
1st Lorain, Ohio, 1/2 Marathon
Lorain Broke Man’s Half Marathon: Again a no-frills race, 1/2 marathon…using it as a training run for the bigger races in late summer early fall.  (this one is most likely not happening because I’ll hopefully be in Mexcio.

7th, Huatulco, Oaxaca, Mexcio, Olympic Triathlon
ITU World Cup Huatulco 2016

July
12th- August 15th, Xinjiang to Haikou, China, Bike Tour
Biking China with Marian

August
1st-15th finishing bike tour of china with Marian.

21st, Delaware, Ohio, USA, 1/2 Ironman Triathlon
Ironman 70.3 Ohio: 1.2mile swim, 56 mile bike, 13.1mile run. I hope to seriously train for this race and do the course multiple times before the race, as I live maybe half an hour from the site. If you want to go out and do this course with me, at any time, holla’.

September
11-18, Cozumel, Mexico, Triathlon Worlds
World Triathlon Age Group Championships: This only happens if I qualify and I make the team.

October
2nd, Columbus, Ohio, USA, 1/2 marathon
Columbus Broke Man’s Half Marathon: Again a no-frills race, 1/2 marathon…using it as a maintaining run.

8th, Acapulco, Guerrero, México, Olympic Distance Triathlon,
Triatlón Acapulco 2016: I am looking forward to this because hopefully I will be in good condition from a solid spring, summer and fall of training and if I can do well at this race I can qualify for 2017 worlds.

COMPLETED

January

16th, Columbus, Ohio, USA, 2 mile run
warm-up for Broke Man’s Winter Warm-up
competed with Sandra

17th, Columbus, Ohio, USA, Half-Marathon
Broke Man’s Winter Warm-Up:
competed with Sandra

February
6th, Columbus, Ohio, USA, Indoor Triathlon
OSU Indoor Triathlon

March
5th, Columbus, Ohio, USA, Indoor Triathlon
Dunn Dash Triathlon
competed with Sandra

Goodbye 2015

2015 has been physically a rough year.

Started out the year with a bum knee and hip-flexor, after I hurt them on a late fall, early winter trail run half marathon.

In the Spring my knee and for the most part my hip-flexor better, I had to have surgery on my lady bits.  Threw my hormones for a loop, and knocked my whole body out.

Then in the fall had a serious concussion after Pancho Villa the dog head butted me. I lost consciousness, came to and couldn’t read or write, or balance myself.

I am feeling much better (other than this cold I currently have) and am really looking forward to athletically kicking ass in 2016.

Alejandro “Mono” González

El viernes tuve el honor de interpretar en forma de conferencia por Alejandro Mono González.  Fue completamente un despapya.  Me había, por si, dado ansiedad por que es Chileno usando vocabulario de artista y además que no me dí cuenta hasta después iba también usar palabras históricas y políticas.  Yo estoy mucho mas acostumbrada interpretar por cosas médicas.   Llevo años interpretando por cosas medicas entonces me siento muchismo más cómoda se las palabras que van a utilizar y oraciones que van a usar…por mayoría pues.  Todo es conocido y hasta puedo anticipar lo que van a decir esto fue mucho mas diferente.

Además fue delante de mis colegas y mis profesores.  Que pena…pues por lo menos ya aprendí que tengo que ser mucha mas fuerte cuando digo que no me siento la persona adecuada.

strong women

Image

I went on two dates with two different men this week, and the best part was after the second date I got to home to a bag of trail mix and to the documentary Strong! (I’ll include it below and hope you’ll watch).

ladies I train with

I am on the far right. These are a couple of the lovely strong ladies I train with

Date #1 let me know that he was more attracted to petite women, and women whiter than me.

Date #2 explained that he didn’t like women with lots of muscles.  It is just “too much muscles for a woman”.  He used my gym girlfriends as examples of unattractive.

I came home feeling fat, big, too masculine, unattractive and pissed that I felt those ways. Pissed at myself for being illogical, pissed at those men, pissed at societal norms, and culturally standards of beauty that I tell myself are absurd, however, truth is, they still fucking hurt.  Luckily, I’ve great friends like Sharon Moss a national Strongwoman, who by great fortune, posted a link to the movie Strong!  I’ve wanted to see Strong! for a couple of years now, and for this week only it is available for free viewing at PBS’ Independent Lens.

You know, I am not as strong as I’d like to be, but I am strong, and getting stronger and it is coming from the encouragement of the women around me who lift.  Women who value all bodies for their strengths.  Here is a video of me lifting with encouragement from my friend Hannah.  No matter what anyone says I love how I look in it (although I need to work on my form)!  Now, I just need to find someone else to train with as Hannah moved away earlier this week.

Elenamary lifts (click for video)